just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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