come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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