ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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