On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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