So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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