It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
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