I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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