sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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