is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
