I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
