just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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