i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
