Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
