So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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