i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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