Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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