Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
