He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A+ Viking dick
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