whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
