Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
