accomplished twins. life is a go
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
