Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i will never coherently bang her
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
