He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
