took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
