Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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