this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
