hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Houston, we have a blender
You made out with two different species that night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
