She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
is it fun? or sober?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
