i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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