I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
