she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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