At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
