you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
