her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
