So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Randomize
