We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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