11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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