A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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