Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i believe in u and ur pee
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
