OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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