you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
