I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
