Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
