I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
