smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Enjoy the penises
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
