if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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