screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
