So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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