you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
