I'm so fucking centered right now
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just puked most of my soul out..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
