Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
